First day blues

All I want to do is lay on my couch with a heating pad on my belly, but instead I have 8 more hours of work after 4 hours this morning. At least I treated myself to a lunch of raw tuna. Planning to get myself a green milk tea before working urgent care tonight. And now waiting to hear about an appointment for Friday.

Declined my first baby shower

One of my closest confidants during this journey unsuccessfully battled infertility many years ago. I first learned this about her when she turned down an invite to our friend’s baby shower, saying it was one of the things she lets herself do without feeling guilty (the other is excusing herself from changing diapers).

We’d prepared to attend a shower this Sunday, gifts already purchased and everything. But then my temperature dropped yesterday morning, and the flow started while I worked late yesterday. Just now I told my husband I didn’t feel like going and he readily agreed. We’ve only seen one other friend RSVP yes, and frankly I will scream if I have to tell strangers over and over that we don’t have kids yet. So I will wrap the gifts and see if hubby can drop off this weekend. I don’t think I can face seeing this friend’s 8 month pregnant belly in person. It’s tough enough seeing online.

And I’m planning on a good sushi dinner tonight. Gotta wine and dine myself before the trans-vaginal ultrasound tomorrow!