4 months old!

The last month seemed to move even faster than the previous, with my return to work. In some ways, it feels like I never left, but in others I definitely feel out of it. I’ve been excused from department meetings to allow myself time to pump, so the only coworkers I see are those at my clinic. Thinking once I go back to a regular full schedule of patients in December, I’ll feel a bit more in the groove. I’ve been assigned to mentor our new doctor, and will be attending meetings for a committee I sit on soon also. I definitely do have more to say to parents of younger babies now than before, just sharing my experiences with the first few weeks, nursing/bottle difficulties, and sleep problems. Today was even more interesting with a new set of parents, who tried to have a baby for 6 years, and were finally successful with an IUI with donor sperm after having tried several IVF cycles! I shared my own experience with them, which was nice to be able to talk about.

At her checkup last week, C came in at 14 lb 5 oz (65%ile) and 24.5″ (65%ile). My poor nurse had to give her shots, but C did pretty well, and was easily consoled with nursing afterwards. She wasn’t as fussy afterwards this time, but did have a fever the next morning, which responded well to acetaminophen.

C is doing well at her daycare, being fawned over by 3 older boys and Mrs. N. She’s still not consistent with bottles and naps, but Mrs. N. insists it’s nothing out of ordinary and she continues to work with her. I’ve resolved to try and establish more of a schedule on the weekends with her, in hopes of getting her to nap for more than her usual 20-40 minute bursts. Longer naps are only possible when holding her, wearing her, or with motion (car or stroller). We need to hang blackout curtains in her room (the shutters aren’t cutting it), and I’m trying to avoid taking her out when she needs to nap, since I want her to get used to sleeping in her crib both day and night. I still try to swaddle her during the day since naps are short.

Swaddling doesn’t hold her long enough at night, but Baby Merlin’s Magic Sleepsuit seems to work the best then. Luckily I found it used on eBay. Her bedtime is now 7:30-8pm, and we had some very rough nights lately when she regressed and kept waking every couple hours. I hadn’t been that exhausted since she was a newborn! Last night we attempted cry it out, but she’s just too young still, and we stopped after 20 minutes and her fussing was getting louder and turned into all-out screaming. I nursed her down, then decided to sleep in my own bed rather than in the nursery, and put hubby on baby duty if she woke up before 2am. Lo and behold, she didn’t wake up until 4am, and my boobs were about to burst! Thankfully she settled very easily once she was fed, but then she woke up again at 6am, so at that point I nursed her until it was time for us to be awake for the day. Going to attempt to dream feed her before I head to bed tonight, and see if I can get her to stretch through MY 8 hours of sleep. Ha, if only!

Developmentally, she continues to truck along with tummy time, and really loves to look at herself in the mirror on her toy. She surprised herself and us by rolling to her back a couple times from her stomach, but hasn’t tried again in a week. She has no trouble spinning herself in a circle on her back, and unfortunately this is often what wakes her when she accidentally jams her feet into the crib bars. Just about anything she grabs has started making its way to her mouth, and she especially loves gumming on burp rags. It used to be only daddy could make her laugh, but now she is laughing more consistently, such as when I blow raspberries on her belly or tickle her. She is always on the alert in new settings, wanting to check everything out, and smiling at people who talk to her. We’ve heard a few “ba ba” and “ga ga” sounds, so hoping “ma ma” and “da da” will come soon!

Breastfeeding is still going strong. I’m able to pump more than enough at work, so I have to scald what I pump Thursdays and Fridays, and froze 12 ounces at the end of last week. She just isn’t consistent with the bottle, sometimes guzzling all 3 oz in one sitting, other times taking an ounce every hour. Yesterday when I picked her up from daycare, she hadn’t taken much at all, so I ended up nursing her before we left to go home. I have a feeling Mondays will be rough as she adjusts from nursing all weekend, even though we still offer one bottle a day. She takes it very halfheartedly then just wants to nurse as much as possible the rest of the time. Granted, even nursing sessions are tougher now, because she’s so easily distracted. She’ll turn to grin at one of the pets or daddy, while still keeping my nipple in her mouth – ow!

Finally, a lot of random blather about mysef. After making a surprise appearance at 8 weeks postpartum, I have not had another period again. Bladder control is better other than with exercise and sneezing. We still haven’t broached having sex, but maybe now that I’m sleeping in our bed again, we’ll find the time when we’re both in the mood? Frankly I’m terrified of how it’ll feel, but I need to just do it to get over it I guess. I’ve been holding steady at 5 lbs above pre-fertility treatment weight for the last couple months, and still much prefer dresses to pants, though I can fit my pants from when I was on Clomid and hormones. I was pretty mortified to be asked by somebody how far along I was recently. I doubt I will lose any more weight until I stop breastfeeding, since it makes me very hungry. I feel like I’m eating more than I did in my 3rd trimester! We are making it to one stroller class a week, and I walk the dogs with C in a carrier when I have the time and energy. I tried weightlifting once a few weeks ago, and just felt too loose everywhere to really maintain good form. So weird that I feel more loose now than during pregnancy! As for aerial, one class is moving to Sunday evenings in mid-November, and I already told hubby he will be on bedtime duty those nights since I’m aching to get back to some flying, even though I’ll just be conditioning in the beginning to get strong enough for air time again. And while I don’t have any bald patches, my hair is definitely falling out very rapidly these days, and I have thinning at the temples. I went in for a much-needed haircut this afternoon, and my stylist gave me long side-swept bangs, and chopped off a few inches too, giving C a little less to hang onto. I do get me time in the form of a massage once a month, but for now that’s it. And with that, I need to shower and feed C before I go to bed!